Day 39

So we are 39 days closer to him coming home than we were before. It sucks, because until I hit at least 100 the number seems so small. I try not to think about how many days we still have to go, because thats overwhelming.

I made a 94 on my first exam of the semester! And I'm off next monday, tuesday and friday! woohoo! Then the week after that I'm off on tuesday, wednesday, and friday. I'm sure I'll spend those days studying, but oh well I'm still excited. Days off make the semester go by faster, and in less than 2 semesters I will not only be an RN, but my husband will be home not long after that!! :)

4 Day Pass

His 4 day pass starts this coming weekend, and I'm pretty bummed about it. Nursing school is ruining my life!! I will get to spend saturday and sunday with him, but I'll probably have homework. Then I have class Monday, and clinicals all day Tuesday. So I guess I should call it more of a 2 day pass for me, and 4 day pass for him. The day I have off (wednesday), he will have to go back. :(

I knew it would happen that way, so I wasn't surprised or anything. Just bummed.

Sleep

Or maybe I should say lack thereof. I don't even think it has to do with anything deployment related, I just can't sleep. I usually fall asleep around 1 or 2, even though I try to go to bed around 10. I just lay there for hours and watch the clock. The only nights I can go to bed at a decent hour is if I take tylenol PM, and I dont want to depend on that to sleep every night.


Then of course either I have to get up at 6 or 7 on the days I have to be somewhere, or karmen wakes me up at 7.

Annoying. Its already midnight.

My saving grace

I don't know how I would get through this without my daughter. Shes the light of my life, and she definitely keeps me busy. Here are some new pictures.

She's started this thing where every morning at around 6 am she runs in my room and gets in bed with me. I said yesterday, "Why dont you like your bed?" She looked at me in all seriousness and said, "The people scare me." I cracked up, because I have no idea what shes talking about. So I wake up to this every morning now.

Her new swimming pool. Her other one was just a tiny hard plastic pool, so I got her this one at Target yesterday. The flowers on the sides shoot out water if you cant see it in the picture.

FRG

I love our FRG. Its a great group of people who really want to make this deployment as painless as possible. We are trying to arrange it to where we all stay the night in the City the night before the meetings, and that way we can hang out, shop, eat dinner, see a movie with the kids, whatever and get to know each other better. Its hard to find time to talk in the 2 hour meetings when we are rushed for time. Emotional support is one reason I attend the meetings and take part in the FRG.

 Being Guard, we all live in different parts of the state (or out of state), so I think it might be easier for some to stay the night anyway. We found a place that will let us stay for 30 dollars per room, and thats pretty darn cheap.

Karmen had a great time in the kids class during the meeting, and I was happy to see that she enjoyed it as much as she did today.

This is my last week of freedom before class starts back, and I'm dreading it!! I will definitely be busy, and that will be nice, but the clinical paperwork and studying I am not looking forward to!!

The best thing

The best thing I've found to cope with all of this is to simply stay busy--24/7. This sounds bad, but if I can't sleep, I take tylenol PM and that knocks me out. If I don't, I will lay awake until 1 am or later.

When I plan things to keep me occupied all day, I"m so tired at the end of the day that even if I do think about everything, I'm so tired that it doesn't last long. The days have been flying by lately, now that I got over the funk I was in a few days ago. Praise the Lord for that.

Today was a good day!

I spent most of the day in Altus, but all in all, it was a good day. These days, "good days" seem more like great days, because I can't seem to find a happy medium. Let's hope tomorrow is the same!

My fellow military wives

You are an irreplaceable balm to my spirit, I swear. I am not sure if I would be holding up without you ladies (you know who you are). Even though none of you live here in Duncan, I'm so thankful to have you guys to talk to.

This may be a long year, but we will survive it and our lives will be enriched because of it. Ok, I lied, they're not so enriched at the moment, but they will be by the end of next year. Scout's honor.

This has been a no good, very bad day.

I won't go into all the details on why that is, just take my word for it. Is it bedtime yet? Not like it matters, because I probably won't be able to sleep. I'm lucky these days if I can go to sleep before 1 am, regardless of whether I get in bed at 9 or midnight.

I'm going to see my friend chapel tomorrow and take karmen swimming with her 3 kids. They will enjoy it, and I will enjoy the girl talk. Then Wednesday I have nursing bootcamp (gag), and thursday we are going to see Lindsay, Macy, Karmen's bff she never sees Mackenzie, and last but not least, baby noah! Karmen is excited already.

I'm reading Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's soul, and I have a serious question about that blasted book. Why on earth would they name it chicken soup for your soul, and then have a WHOLE section on stories about soldiers dying.  I couldn't stop myself from reading them either, which was annoying. Thats the last thing that feels like soup to my soul. Blah.

Anywho my rant is over for the day.