Tomorrow is...

The last day of 2010 and I couldn't be more ready for 2011!!! Bring on R&R, graduation, and homecoming!! And maybe even another baby? :) We shall see.

I passed Nursing 3!!

Bring on Nursing 4! The final semester to this nursing school saga I call life!

Happy thanksgiving!!

It seems like everytime I post, its been 3 weeks or more since my last. I guess that means time is flying, which is always good!! I have 1 more test this semester, with 1 final. No more careplans til January! Feels great to say that!!!

Two more weeks of school, and I will be in my final semester. ANDDDDDDDDDDD in 5 weeks, I can say my husband will be home "this year." That will be great too. I have all my christmas shopping and decorating finished, thanksgiving is over, and I have a whole lot of things to be thankful for. Only one more major holiday without my man, and that will be over in a few weeks as well (except V Day).  I have an awesome valentines day present already planned for kasey and I cant WAIT til january to mail it!!

Wedding Pictures

Karmen was the flowergirl

The proverbial Ball and Chain

100 days down

Woohoo finally made it to 100 days!! I can't believe its been a month since my last post. I say that time drags on while the hubs is gone, but I guess it really doesn't. I was thinking it had been a couple weeks since I posted last.

Not much to update. Deployment still sucks. The next 300 days will go by quickly I hope. My brother got married, I've passed all my nursing tests, clinicals are going great, school will be out in 6ish weeks! Woohoo I will have a month off. I plan on spending alot of time with ms teri payne if the weather isn't too terribly bad like it was last winter.

I can't wait for this semester to be over. In 6 weeks I will have 1 semester left!!!!!!!!

70ish days down

His final 4 day pass was this last week, and it was great. Karmen was in heaven with her daddy home, and keeps trying to convince me that he will be back in a "couple days." :( Poor baby. I will say, "No, Daddy's going to be gone a long time for work this time." And she looks at me like I need a straight jacket, and says, "No a couple days."

Anyway, enough of the sad stuff. Its been 20 days since my last post (oops), and time is a tickin'. Thank goodness for that. I've been s.w.a.m.p.e.d with school, and I am studying today for my 2 exams tomorrow. I have to make 100 on one of them, so no pressure or anything. Seven more months....I can do this, I think I can, I think I can.

I have clinical at the hospital from 630 am to 7 pm (ack) Tuesday, and will have lots of fun paperwork to go along with that. Then I have two more tests (one online, 1 in class) on Thursday.

THEN, this weekend I am going to go get fitted for my bridesmaid dress. My soon to be sis in law had the dresses hand made, and its ready to be tried on now. October 16 is her and my brothers wedding, and the night before is her bachelorette party ;) Its going to be fun! I booked a hotel last night for that night, and the night of the wedding and I'm excited. Its going to be a beautiful wedding. Kasey was supposed to be the best man, and he feels awful about missing it. I wish he could come, but I'll take lots of pictures for him.

I'm a key caller for the FRG and I didnt know it involved so much work! LOL I had no idea you had to keep call logs, etc. Plus I'm writing two columns for the FRG newsletter: the spouse section and moms of young children. So needless to say, with karmen school and the FRG I've been busy!

Thats all I can think of posting for now. I have to get back to the books. More updates soon!

Close to 50 days :)

It's not getting much easier, but it's going. In fact, it's been harder lately because I had a 5 day weekend this last weekend and karmen stayed with my mom for 3 of those days. I missed her sooo much, because we've never been apart that long. Plus I had finished all my homework plus some, and then I was stuck at home with nothing to do. I was so happy to go back to clinical today.

I also found out today that I get to spend most of next monday with kasey and ALL of tuesday and wednesday!! Before I thought I had med/surg orientation tuesday and wednesday, but my instructor told us today we only had to go if we'd never been to that hospital before. I don't get to drive him to the airport thursday :( but maybe its better that way. I have class that morning. I'll probably cry through the whole class after telling him bye that morning. I won't see him again for almost 10 months after that. His R&R is at the very end almost.

Anyway, I'm bummed I don't get to drop him off to send him back to where they are going to leave from, but it'd be really sad anyway so it might be best that way. Just say goodbye the night before and tell him bye just like I would any other day the morning of. Ok, now I'm just rambling so I'll stop here :)

Day 39

So we are 39 days closer to him coming home than we were before. It sucks, because until I hit at least 100 the number seems so small. I try not to think about how many days we still have to go, because thats overwhelming.

I made a 94 on my first exam of the semester! And I'm off next monday, tuesday and friday! woohoo! Then the week after that I'm off on tuesday, wednesday, and friday. I'm sure I'll spend those days studying, but oh well I'm still excited. Days off make the semester go by faster, and in less than 2 semesters I will not only be an RN, but my husband will be home not long after that!! :)

4 Day Pass

His 4 day pass starts this coming weekend, and I'm pretty bummed about it. Nursing school is ruining my life!! I will get to spend saturday and sunday with him, but I'll probably have homework. Then I have class Monday, and clinicals all day Tuesday. So I guess I should call it more of a 2 day pass for me, and 4 day pass for him. The day I have off (wednesday), he will have to go back. :(

I knew it would happen that way, so I wasn't surprised or anything. Just bummed.

Sleep

Or maybe I should say lack thereof. I don't even think it has to do with anything deployment related, I just can't sleep. I usually fall asleep around 1 or 2, even though I try to go to bed around 10. I just lay there for hours and watch the clock. The only nights I can go to bed at a decent hour is if I take tylenol PM, and I dont want to depend on that to sleep every night.


Then of course either I have to get up at 6 or 7 on the days I have to be somewhere, or karmen wakes me up at 7.

Annoying. Its already midnight.

My saving grace

I don't know how I would get through this without my daughter. Shes the light of my life, and she definitely keeps me busy. Here are some new pictures.

She's started this thing where every morning at around 6 am she runs in my room and gets in bed with me. I said yesterday, "Why dont you like your bed?" She looked at me in all seriousness and said, "The people scare me." I cracked up, because I have no idea what shes talking about. So I wake up to this every morning now.

Her new swimming pool. Her other one was just a tiny hard plastic pool, so I got her this one at Target yesterday. The flowers on the sides shoot out water if you cant see it in the picture.

FRG

I love our FRG. Its a great group of people who really want to make this deployment as painless as possible. We are trying to arrange it to where we all stay the night in the City the night before the meetings, and that way we can hang out, shop, eat dinner, see a movie with the kids, whatever and get to know each other better. Its hard to find time to talk in the 2 hour meetings when we are rushed for time. Emotional support is one reason I attend the meetings and take part in the FRG.

 Being Guard, we all live in different parts of the state (or out of state), so I think it might be easier for some to stay the night anyway. We found a place that will let us stay for 30 dollars per room, and thats pretty darn cheap.

Karmen had a great time in the kids class during the meeting, and I was happy to see that she enjoyed it as much as she did today.

This is my last week of freedom before class starts back, and I'm dreading it!! I will definitely be busy, and that will be nice, but the clinical paperwork and studying I am not looking forward to!!

The best thing

The best thing I've found to cope with all of this is to simply stay busy--24/7. This sounds bad, but if I can't sleep, I take tylenol PM and that knocks me out. If I don't, I will lay awake until 1 am or later.

When I plan things to keep me occupied all day, I"m so tired at the end of the day that even if I do think about everything, I'm so tired that it doesn't last long. The days have been flying by lately, now that I got over the funk I was in a few days ago. Praise the Lord for that.

Today was a good day!

I spent most of the day in Altus, but all in all, it was a good day. These days, "good days" seem more like great days, because I can't seem to find a happy medium. Let's hope tomorrow is the same!

My fellow military wives

You are an irreplaceable balm to my spirit, I swear. I am not sure if I would be holding up without you ladies (you know who you are). Even though none of you live here in Duncan, I'm so thankful to have you guys to talk to.

This may be a long year, but we will survive it and our lives will be enriched because of it. Ok, I lied, they're not so enriched at the moment, but they will be by the end of next year. Scout's honor.

This has been a no good, very bad day.

I won't go into all the details on why that is, just take my word for it. Is it bedtime yet? Not like it matters, because I probably won't be able to sleep. I'm lucky these days if I can go to sleep before 1 am, regardless of whether I get in bed at 9 or midnight.

I'm going to see my friend chapel tomorrow and take karmen swimming with her 3 kids. They will enjoy it, and I will enjoy the girl talk. Then Wednesday I have nursing bootcamp (gag), and thursday we are going to see Lindsay, Macy, Karmen's bff she never sees Mackenzie, and last but not least, baby noah! Karmen is excited already.

I'm reading Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's soul, and I have a serious question about that blasted book. Why on earth would they name it chicken soup for your soul, and then have a WHOLE section on stories about soldiers dying.  I couldn't stop myself from reading them either, which was annoying. Thats the last thing that feels like soup to my soul. Blah.

Anywho my rant is over for the day.

Word of Advice

If your husband/boyfriend is gone, don't listen to the song "One moment more" by Mindy Smith. Trust me.

Anyway, I slept til noon today and I haven't done that in a loooooooong time. It was nice.

"It don't have a job



Don't pay your bills


Won't buy you a home


In Beverly Hills


Won't fix your life


In five easy steps


Ain't the law of the land


Or the government


But it's all you need..


Love, will, hold us together


Make us a shelter


to weather the storm


And I'll, be, my brothers keeper


So the whole world will know


That we're not alone"

When they can't be there...

Yesterday I had an awful day at the hospital. It was emotional, frustrating, tiring, and I could go on and on. I commend anyone who can work geriatric psych, because I could barely handle 12 hours.

When I finally got home, I started missing him :( I've done pretty good so far, and haven't really allowed myself to dwell on it. But I guess I'm just used to him cheering me up.

But on a brighter note, I'm having lunch with my mom today and at 5 I'm going to my friend Angie's house to cook and eat with her and watch a movie. Karmen's excited to see "baby Wevi (levi)"

Tomorrow is my last day at the hospital as a summer employee, and then I'll have 2 whole weeks off. Its going to be weird being at home so much.

Don't move to oklahoma...

This is what happens to you and your childwhen you go in your own backyard for literally 5 minutes to spray weeds.  This is only the front of my legs and the front of karmen's arms. The backs of my legs are covered, and she has some on her legs too and one on her face. Poor baby. Needless to say, we are both covered in anti-itch spray LOL.

What your worrying says to God

I love this and I had to share.

Excerpt from "AWESOME"



by T.D. Jakes


You've been on my mind and heart. I see you struggling and planning, worrying and sweating, crying and running, at a furious pace. You're trying to move that mountain by yourself again, huh?


God asks that we cast all our cares on Him because He cares. Think about what your worrying says to God when you refuse to give things over to Him.


When you worry about money, you're telling Him that He is unable to provide for His children ... that although He has riches beyond belief in Heaven, He is too stingy to share them with you.


When you worry that no one understands you, you're telling Him that although He has been with you since before you were formed in the womb, and has carved you into the palm of His hand, He doesn't know you.


When you worry that you will not have enough food, you're telling Him that although He rained down bread from Heaven in the desert to feed His children, you are the one He's forgotten.


When you worry that your enemies will have victory over you, you're telling God that although He has given you spiritual battlegear to defend yourself, that despite His track record of being a giant slayer, Red Sea divider, lion mouth closer and a furnace cooler, He can't handle your co-worker, your neighbor or a former friend.


When you worry that your children have decided to follow the world instead of your example, you're telling God that He doesn't keep His promises....That despite the fact that you have raised them up in the way they should go, they'll stray because basically, He lied.


When you worry because the doctors told you that children are impossible, that a cure is impossible, that healing is impossible, you're telling Him that this world controls your fate. You're saying that prayer time with Him is nearly something to pass the time. You're saying that although He can raise the dead, make a virgin conceive, open the womb of a woman well past eighty, heal a 12 year issue of blood, make the blind see and the lame walk, He can't help you.


When you worry that you won't be able to do enough to earn forgiveness, you're telling Him "that's ok Lord, no need for Your Son to die, I can earn my own forgiveness." Let's just act like Jesus never died, and tell Him never mind, that He doesn't need to go to the cross.


When you worry that no one will love you, that you'll be lonely for the rest of your life, you're telling Him that His love is insufficient ... that He couldn't possibly love you enough to ward away loneliness. You're saying that although He has promised life more abundantly, He was lying .... that despite the fact that He started off saying that it is not good that we be alone, He's changed His mind.


When you worry and refuse to give the problem over to Him, you're telling Him that although He could create the world, He can't handle what's going on in your world, so you will. You are saying that He won't work things out, that obstacles cannot be overcome, that mountains can't be climbed, that healing cannot occur, that what is lost will not be found, that joy does not come in the morning, that He is not the God of a second chance, that the promised land has been swallowed up by the desert, that you have discovered the height, depth and width of His love and found it to fall short of your needs.


Think about all that you're saying to the one who loves you the most and who has all power, really think about it. Then open your hands and release what you've been holding onto. Bow down on your knees and ask Him to forgive you for doubting Him. Walk away with a peaceful heart and note the footsteps that go before you to make the crooked places straight, a way in the wilderness, and later springing forth in the desert.


"Stand in a stream with waters around your ankles. The waters that pass by you at that moment, you will never see again. So it is with the misery that has challenged your life ... let it go, let it pass away."

This is for every woman I know who is pregnant or plans to ever be.

I guess I have a little rant from yesterday. I love L&D, and still do after yesterday, but I would rather take care of a woman who knows nothing about labor than someone who thinks they know everything. If they do know alot, great for them, its fine to be proactive about your own care. But if you don't know, and you act like you do and try to correct me every 5 seconds, thats when the trouble begins.

I had two moms yesterday that were "fun." One came into triage for an NST and I was the lucky duck who got to triage her. She tried to tell me how to hook her up to the monitor like I didn't know. Then she said, "You have two of those TOCO's." I said, "No I don't." And she kept arguing with me (she got confused apparently because the TOCO which measures her contraction strength is usually blue, while the transducer that picks up the baby's heartbeat is usually grey, but we have blue ones too.) I finally showed her the difference, and she just said, "Oh."

She didn't stop there, no, that didn't slow her down. She looked at the monitor strip and said, "I'm having a contraction!!" I was like, "Uh no thats not a contraction thats from me putting the strap on you and you moving around." She said, "No see its right there."  I wanted to explain to her that contractions don't look like perfect squares (unless you're holding your breath and faking them). But I didn't :)
 
Then she was watching everything I clicked/typed/etc into the computer. She tried to tell me I was spelling one of her meds wrong, so I had to get it out of her bag of meds she brought with her to show her I wasn't spelling it wrong.

She got a little bit better after that, but then I get another mom who doesn't trust any of us one bit. She would ask and ask for juice even though she knew she couldnt have any while she was in labor. So she asked one of the other nurses and when she said no, the girl goes, "I knew that, I was just seeing if you would do it." They don't realize that making every one of the nurses mad isn't exactly to their advantage. After her baby was born, I gave him a bath, did hearing screen, etc. and took him back in her room. I said, "Do you want me to hand him to you?" And she looked me straight in the eye and said, "No I want my mom to hand him to me." I was just thinking okie dokie then whatever.

Then the cops come because she had a restraining order against the FOB and he came up there anyway. Nice.

SO.... the lesson of the day is: pay attention to your care, but don't belittle your nurse or act like you know better (if you don't)!!  It makes their day alot harder because then they dread walking in your room!

Good news I guess..

Well weekend one is over.


Granted, I got to see him friday and saturday night, but oh well it still counts.

pre-D pictures

We've never had any pictures made together, so we wanted to get these taken before he left. I thought they turned out great.

 Here are a few.

Our pre-D vacation to South padre

Here are a few pictures that I didn't put on my facebook.

my husband and his mom

me and his mom on the eco-tour/dolphin watch

my brother in law and his wife and son

Karmen trying to hug Alli (my stepdaughter)